Some want to be coddled. They want to be isolated from the world’s harshness. 

Some don’t want to work for it, wait for it, or earn it. They believe they’re owed it.

And if it’s not sugar coated, don’t bother serving. They only hear what they want to hear, believe what they want to believe.

Welcome to the digital age. 

Where instant gratification is in high demand. Where everything is cancellable.

Where people film themselves being fired and post it on social media. All in the name of unfair business practises—more like in the hopes of going viral.

Truth is, we all wish life was easier. Less rough and tumble, more smooth sailing. We want it to be fairer. Equal opportunities and less tragedy.

But that’s not how it works.

There are winners and losers. Effort doesn’t always pay off. Loved ones are taken too soon

Life doesn’t care about participation ribbons.

“Life has more discomfort than comfort. But that’s what makes the highs feel so fantastic.”

– Arnold Schwarzenegger

Is soft safe? 

No. Growth follows difficult times. It’s called evolution.

• When I was expelled from high school, I owned it and did what was needed to get back on track. I moved away from my home and my friends, and I graduated with honours.
  
  
• When my mom died, I promised to always make her proud. I faced inner demons and character faults, and I rebuilt myself into something better.
  
  
• When the 2020 pandemic hit, I worked harder than ever to steer my future. I got serious about personal growth and professional development, and I got to where I am today.

Do I wish things had turned out differently? Sure, I’d be lying if I said otherwise.

But I didn’t ask for concessions or a free pass. I got knocked down, I grieved. I got back up, faced the hard thing. I learned and I grew.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable 

It’s like working out. If you want to get stronger, improve stamina and endurance, you increase the weight and the reps. You push to the limit—then you push beyond it. 

You make it harder, not easier.

Everything in life is the same.

Want to strengthen your relationships? Have difficult conversations with family members, friends, and your partner (the kind you dread).

Want a raise at work? Ask for one. Or put in the time to increase your value—take courses, watch how-to videos, read books, and study those above you. 

And don’t become complacent. If you’re not happy where you are, find another job or create your own.

It won’t be easy. It will be scary. But do it anyway.

Want to manage your emotions better? Don’t run from them, don’t treat them like an illness, and don’t try to control them. Dig deep, take an honest look at yourself, and accept what you find. 

Look outward and face criticism with an open mind. Remember, feelings aren’t always facts and your opinions can cloud your judgement. Plus, sometimes you’re wrong. Taking it personally eliminates the opportunity to course correct.

Yes, managing your emotions and owning your mistakes is hard. So are maintaining relationships, changing careers, and finding fulfillment in life.

Maybe that’s the point? Because that’s what makes the beautiful bits worth it.

Stop looking for shortcuts 

One last thing: be patient with the process.

• Sometimes you haven’t earned it yet
• Sometimes you’re not ready yet
• Sometimes the timing is off

The best things in life operate on their own schedule. And the best know they can’t speed up the clock.

Think of the vocalist, doing take after take to hit every note (without the aid of autotune). The guitarist, playing the solo over and over to nail every bend. And the drummer, refusing to miss a beat, even by a 64th note.

It’s better to do it right than do it easy.

Modern technology has spoiled some people. The ones addicted to dopamine injected by social media. Those who demand attention, expecting to get what they want instantaneously.

Waiting is for suckers, right? Wrong.

Overnight success is a lie being fed by hacks and posers. And those willing to get fat off the bullshit are the ones complaining loudest about how unfair life is.

But not you. Because you deserve more than a participation ribbon. 

You do the hard thing. You’re used to being uncomfortable. You’re not looking for shortcuts.

You’re not soft.